The Illegiterati

Probably almost everyone reading this has already heard about YouveBeenLeftBehind.com. It’s about the rapture–you know, that special time in a Christian’s life when the End Times come and he or she gets whisked on up to heaven. This fancy little website will email your friends and family after the Rapture has taken place, so they still have time to repent before the Second Coming.

All this for the low, low price of $40 / year!

I love this. Ever since I was a kid and I saw a bumper sticker that said, “In case of Rapture, this car will be unmanned,” I’ve been fascinated. Of course, as a kid I thought those bumper stickers were a little prideful, something my fundamentalist Christian fifth-grade teacher taught me all about. I still think they are, though in a different way–I would totally like to see the rapture happen, and then all those people with the bumper sticker get out of their cars, confused, and just start kicking the bumper.

The site actually works on a similar principle–there are five “Christian” employees, and if any three of the five don’t log in for six days, the email goes out. What if they just go on a really hard bender, though? I would love to see that email: “Dear Subscribers, we apologize for sending out a false Rapture email…” Of course, there would be lots of pissed Christians worrying for days that the rapture hadn’t taken them.

So, I kind of applaud this website for finding a new way to separate the gullible from their money. Everyone else: read Revelations. When the rapture happens, you will know about it.

★★★★☆